This morning I felt joy of life. And all I was doing was making coffee- nothing special, just my normal, daily little ritual – yet this big, natural and effortless smile appeared on my face, I felt lighter and much calmer for the first time I’ve felt for a while. I felt that I was here. And it felt good. Breakfast and coffee in bed for me today. No rush. Then a long and relaxing walk in the winter sun: nature, hot tea, a border collie and a great conversation with a close friend. Pizza for supper. Tiny little joys of life 
Another 365-day journey around the sun
So here I am again… Another journey around the sun completed. It’s been a weird one, but then it seems that nothing can surprise anyone anymore in 2020!
I’ve been enjoying summarising my years since 2017. Then another post followed a year later,with the latest one from China.
So what’s happened since?
- I enjoyed most of my post birthday summer last year in Shanghai – having friends there too made the whole experience beyond exceptional!
- I started having some work done on the house – actually more than had planned for and, my oh my, it’s still on hold and it’s still driving me bonkers :-/
- I really got back into climbing and have been making progress, especially with my leading skills
- I completed Climbing Wall Instructor (CWI) course
- I’ve meditated (almost) on daily basis- if not, I substituted it with some positive affirmations. Perhaps one or two might have slipped through the net? But I guess that’s my opportunity to being nice to myself and truly understand that it’s ok to have a slip up and/or to make an occasional mistake.
- I attended Wisdom Born of Stillness weekend retreat with Ajahn Brahm at Gaia House – and Ajahn Bear was there with me, of course
- I attended Love To Break All Boundaries: Metta Retreat with the Venerable Canda at The Barn: things aren’t always so fluffy and easy as they sound, but they’re definitely worth it!
- I’ve started yet another Masters degree! Yeah, I know But I’m loving it, despite an occasional tantrum
- Despite some rather rubbish past experiences, I’ve braved the weird world of online dating again… This though requires a whole new and separate post, if not a book Maybe some time soon. I have a plan. You may hear it about in not so distant future
- …and since you’re asking, yeah, I’m enjoying it this time
- I’ve met amazing, supportive, kind and lovely people – I just can’t imagine not feeling grateful for who (and what) I have in my life
- I experienced being furloughed
- I’ve been asked to be my good friend’s bridesmaid We even managed to go on a great hen do in Spain and be back just in time for lockdown…
- I might be getting more ideas about what I want to do when I grow up…
- I’ve learnt some online teaching skills!
- Life goes on…
Ok, the thing is that not everything in the last year was all hunky-dory…And of course I experienced a lot of emotional ups and downs. But as 2020 seems to generate lots of (so called ) negative feelings and emotions, I just wanted to focus on good and meaningful events in my life. What have I learnt? Hmmm….The biggest takeway for me was to learn to set up and/or assert my boundaries much better and develop abilities not to get sucked in into somebody else’s’ dramas (especially happy with this one!). The old Polish proverb ‘Not my circus, not my monkeys’ has finally started making sense to me. I’ve learnt freakishly lots about myself in a relatively short period of time. I recognised my strengths and excepted my vulnerable self more. I love being a human being , though this often requires that vulnerability, which I’m still working on. I enjoy being ‘a work in progress‘ kind of person as for me it’s more realistic, more true and authentic than pretending that I’m (almost) perfect. I know that there’s plenty I need to work on, but for now I’ll stick to being (just the right amount of) enough.
I think here’s only one more thing to say :
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
On gratitude
Recently I’ve had this overwhelming feeling of gratitude. I started paying more attention to what I have and noticed that gratitude is something that arises pretty much on its own, there’s no need to force it.
I’m feeling grateful for little and ‘big’ things in my life:
- for having a roof over my head, feeling warm, having food and clean running water, bed, clothes;
- for my health, even though sometimes I need to attend to it a bit more that I would’ve expected. I’ve noticed that any dip in my health brings out some important message that I need to listen to, which is not necessarily directly health-related;
- for access to education, my intelligence and desire to learn. I’m so grateful I can read and write and can speak and/or understand more than one language;
- for having jobs that I really enjoy doing and for professional development opportunities;
- for freedom of choice, movement, speech; the fact I can vote;
- for my family and friends.
Although I put people at the bottom of that list, it doesn’t mean they are the least important thing in my life. Very often I find myself struggle to comprehend how lucky I am having so many wonderful, kind and fantastic people in my life. I’m not sometimes sure how it happened that our paths have crossed, but sure I’m very very grateful for it Sometimes I catch myself thinking what I’ve done to deserve having them in my life, but then, does it really matter? They’re a part of my life and I’m feeling grateful.
So to all my friends and family, my acquaintances, colleagues, neighbours and strangers, who in one way or the other have had an impact on my life : I feel very lucky and very grateful that I’ve been experiencing my life journey with you. Thank you for being here