I’m embraced by fear again. Fear of writing and expressing myself. I can hear this almost constant voice somewhere in my head that I ‘should’ focus my life- and writing- on something specific, something ‘meaningful’ and ‘wise’ , but all I’ve been experiencing recently is a big mishmash of emotions, feelings, experiences, changes, ultra-fast train of thoughts…It’s been impossible for me to focus. And every time I pay attention to that voice, my body cringes and for me it’s a clear sign it’s not the right way to go…So I don’t.
I don’t want to force myself to focus on anything specific at the moment- I feel like letting all those galloping states and experiences happen and observe them with curiosity. All will calm down and fall into right place at the right time. I feel right now that by trying to tame everything and trying to pick one thing to focus on , I’d be lying to myself, not to mention stressing myself out. So today I’ll just leave it at that…
Ha, pushed through some fear by writing something here,now. I smiled.